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====== The Grunter ======

<WRAP right round box 20%><WRAP centeralign>**The Grunter**\\
{{ :the_grunter.jpg?nolink&200|}}</WRAP>\\
**Name:** The Grunter\\
**Type:** Cryptid\\
**Occupation:** Rooting & Shitting\\
**Status:** Disgusting</WRAP>

**The Grunter** is a rude little piggy! He lives to root and shit and no law of god or man can stop him. Is he a man? Is he a beast? Nobody can say for sure! All we know for certain is he's racist.

> The Grunter is a nasty hoggish fuck that loves rooting and shitting. This character doesn't have any redeeming features at all, and no other interests or passions.
> - [[start#Hosts|Ben]]

===== Origins =====

The Grunter is first mentioned in Boonta Vista [[episode_259|episode 259 - "Here Comes the Grunter (with Tom Walker)"]].

The first mention of "a grunter" dates to episode [[episode_75|episode 75 - "Dead Posts Society"]], in which a since-deleted Tweet from a former Australian Greens staffer is described as part of a segment on Australian politics.

===== Description ======

The Grunter has two brain cells, one for rooting and the other for shitting. Witnesses who have not seen the Grunter rooting or shitting are advised that they have not seen the Grunter.

Based on the canon lore revealed to date, the Grunter:
  * Is way more fucked up than any other kind of guy. [[episode_259|[1]]]
  * Is agender, but goes by he/him.  He not asexual, to the dismay of all unfortunate enough to encounter him.
  * Is incredibly greasy, possibly being even greasier than [[the_curtain|the curtain]]. He achieves this partially by coating himself in his own cum, as it's oily consistency allows him to both evade capture, and swim, dolphin-like, through the water. [[episode_298_bonus|[3]]] He is also is known raid K-Y factories to make himself even greasier. [[episode_324|[4]]]
  * Spends half his year in Newcastle, and the other half in Paris, which he travels between using tunnels through the center of the earth. [[episode_298_bonus|[3]]]
  * Is either around two feet tall ("permanent upskirt height"), [[episode_262_bonus|[2]]] or around four feet tall.  [[episode_324|[4]]]
  * The Grunter sleeps 19 hours a day, during which his ass goes “honk-shoo, honk-shoo”. [[episode_262_bonus|[2]]]
  * He obtains nutrients by using his anus to suckle on the teats of possums. [[episode_324|[4]]]
  * Was once human, but was given carob at an early age, which he was promised was "just like chocolate". The shock of this betrayal seems to have planted the initial seed of evil within him. [[episode_324|[4]]]
  *  Was a once in a generation pianist who could make hearts soar, but gave this up at 12 in order to pursue the pleasures of the flesh, and sometimes Teflon. [[episode_324|[4]]]
  * Was only ever truly understood him was his pet ferret named Colonel Kurtz, who’s death to an undetonated charge in the local quarry precipitated the final step in his shift from Man to Grunter. [[episode_324|[4]]]
  * Invented those stupid sex terms on urban dictionary that no one actually uses. [[episode_324|[4]]]
  * Had prostate glands surgically implanted in both his feet so he could cum any time he kicks a dog. [[episode_324|[4]]]

===== Navigation =====

<WRAP round box><WRAP centeralign>**Cryptids**\\
[[thegrunter|The Grunter]] | [[Bigfoot]] | [[Mexican Bigfoot]] | [[Mark]] | [[porcelainman|The Porcelain Man]]</WRAP></WRAP>